Let's Celebrate Menopause: Mindset, Mindfulness and Thriving in Midlife

By Tracy Munro, mindfulness and mindset coach

Midlife can be relentless. So many of us are juggling roles, with children to run around after, elderly parents needing our time and an ever increasing workload. So many people are simply surviving midlife, waiting for some magical future moment when they will feel like their old selves again.

In the meantime, they fall into bed each night exhausted, stressed and completely overwhelmed, only to wake up and do it all over again. They try so hard to look as though they have everything under control that their therapist may be the only person they can truly confide in.

As beauty and wellbeing professionals, we often hear what nobody else does. Are your clients:

• Having hot sweats?
• Waking in the night and unable to get back to sleep?
• Feeling anxious at work?
• Exhausted?
• Forgetful, and worried it might be something more serious?
• Struggling to remember simple things, like names?

And have they considered that these could be signs of perimenopause? Menopause usually happens between 45 and 55, according to the NHS, but symptoms of perimenopause can start years before periods stop.

None of this sounds like something to celebrate. So why would we encourage our clients to celebrate menopause?

My own story

Let me take you back to when I asked myself the same question. At 42 I visited my doctor. I was exhausted, and night sweats had left me sleep deprived and irritable. I was told I was too young to be perimenopausal.

When you are exhausted and low, you don't always have the energy to question the advice you are given. But I knew he was wrong, and I trusted my intuition enough to keep looking.

I am far from alone. The Fawcett Society's Menopause and the Workplace report found that almost half of those surveyed had never spoken to their GP about menopause, and of those who had, 3 in 10 experienced delays in getting a diagnosis. Around 1 in 10 who worked during menopause had left a job because of their symptoms.

Eventually I saw an alternative doctor. I was emotional by the time I reached his office, and he wondered if I was depressed. But I knew my body. I just needed sleep. He helped, and within weeks I felt like a different person.

Emotionally, my recovery began when I started to prioritise myself. I explored yoga, meditation and mindfulness. I studied Reiki and discovered Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) through my doctor. But it was hard to stick with. I didn't have a supportive space to talk about "spiritual things", and many people reacted negatively when I did.

I still hadn't discovered the mindset work that would shift everything and create lasting change. My 50s were transformational. I learned to create a more positive mindset, accept every part of my story and listen more deeply to my intuition. Reprogramming my mind allowed me to approach my life and work with more mindfulness and heart centred presence.

Why so many people struggle

Too many people are struggling through menopause, neglecting their own needs and feeling lost, exhausted and taken for granted. The doctor doesn't always seem to have the answers, and they are not sure how to make space for the new person who is emerging.

We begin by understanding our physiology. The nervous system, made up of the brain, spinal cord and nerves, sends messages throughout the body. The autonomic nervous system has two parts: the parasympathetic nervous system, which lets the body "rest and digest", and the sympathetic nervous system, which prepares it for "fight or flight".

When we are under constant stress, the sympathetic nervous system increases production of chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol. These are only meant to be in the body for a short time, just long enough to get away from danger. Chronic stress means the body keeps pumping out cortisol, which is absorbed by most of our cells and wreaks havoc.

At the same time, perimenopausal bodies have falling levels of oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone. The decline isn't slow and steady. It is erratic, which is why some days you feel on top of the world and other days you just want to stay in bed and not speak to anyone.

Oestrogen affects almost every cell in the body, which is why menopause can bring such a wide range of symptoms, from hot flushes and brain fog to joint pain, anxiety and formication, that crawling sensation on the skin. This hormonal cocktail can leave the endocrine system completely out of balance, and it can feel as though life will never be the same.

Most people simply want to feel normal again. By calming the body and the nervous system, the chemicals are rebalanced, the brain fog eases and we feel calmer and more in control.

Mindset, mindfulness and community

It is also common for old trauma to bubble to the surface at this stage of life as hormones fluctuate. I trained with the IAPC&M in mindfulness coaching so I could support people as they learn to deal with their inner critic (you know, the voice that says you are never enough, or too much, or don't deserve to be healthy, happy and loved), improve their mindset and rebuild their self belief.

As we do this work, it is important to surround ourselves with people who support us, reinforce our self belief and cheer us on. That is why I created my Menopause Membership: to support, educate and encourage people in midlife, and help them feel motivated, balanced and ready to take on the world.

It makes me sad to hear of so many people suffering and feeling lost and lonely, so my mission is to reframe menopause, celebrate its benefits and show the opportunities this liberating stage of life brings.

What we can gain when we embrace menopause

When we embrace menopause, we can learn to:

• Embrace our beautiful, powerful energy
• Confidently let go of careers and relationships that don't serve us
• Explore new opportunities and experiences with authenticity
• Own the wisdom, strength and peace that life has taught us
• Join communities where we can share stories and talk openly
• Advocate for the healthcare, treatments and research that are increasingly available
• Give ourselves more time to slow down and explore spirituality
• Enjoy freedom from periods!
• Inspire others (if you don't believe me, ask your friends)
• Embrace the attitude that you only live once

How beauty professionals can help

Your treatment room may be one of the few places a client in midlife truly switches off. Calming treatments such as reflexology, aromatherapy and a relaxing facial give them time to rest, while a listening ear and gentle signposting to their GP or a menopause specialist can make a real difference.

I believe that by making ourselves a priority and practising daily mindfulness, we can temporarily put down our roles, rest and find inner peace. As we lower our stress response and flood our bodies with endorphins and oxytocin, we are better equipped to cope with our hectic days.

We all have the capacity to create a mindset that supports self belief and confidence: one that empowers us to live life on our own terms, making decisions in line with our values and goals. I want to make a difference, so my mission is to help overwhelmed people in menopause not just to survive, but to thrive!

This article shares personal experience and wellbeing approaches. If you are struggling with menopause symptoms, speak to your GP or a menopause specialist about the support available.