How to Spot the Signs of Domestic Abuse: A Guide for Beauty Professionals
Key takeaways
- Around 1 in 4 adults in England and Wales have experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16.
- Signs can include changes in mood, hidden injuries and a partner controlling appointments or money.
- Your role is to listen and signpost to specialist help, not to solve the problem. If someone is in danger, call 999.
By Julie Knight, former police officer, lash artist and founder of Behind the Mask.
Quick answer: Beauty professionals can spot signs of domestic abuse such as a client becoming withdrawn, hiding injuries, or a partner controlling their appointments and money. You do not need to solve the problem. Listen without judgement, offer a safe way to contact a specialist helpline, and call 999 if someone is in immediate danger.
Helpline details below are for the UK. If you work elsewhere, find your local domestic abuse helpline and keep the number to hand.
Why beauty professionals can make a difference
We have unique relationships with our clients because of the personal nature of our work. We often joke about being therapists, because we are great listeners and our treatment rooms are seen as safe spaces.
A client's time with us may be one of the few times they are alone. It is a chance to notice when something is not right, and it may be when they choose to share something. How you respond could change, or even save, someone's life.
Around 1 in 4 adults in England and Wales have experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16. They are likely to be our clients, and they may also be colleagues, family or friends.
What domestic abuse is
Domestic abuse is often thought of as physical violence, but it is far wider than that. It includes emotional, psychological and sexual abuse, harassment, and controlling or coercive behaviour, including control of money.
Signs to look for
- A regular client who is quieter than usual, anxious or withdrawn
- Usually well kept nails that are broken or bitten
- Clothes that cover more than the weather calls for, or heavier make-up than usual
- Discomfort getting on and off the couch or chair
- Being asked to change a treatment because a partner did not like it
- Feeling they "have to" answer calls or messages during an appointment
- Needing receipts, rushing, or always being escorted to appointments
Why people may not tell anyone
Fear for themselves or others is common. Some people do not recognise that what is happening to them is abuse. My daughter did not. Twice. That is the power of control and coercion.
What to do if a client tells you
As a former police officer who now runs a busy lash business, I have noticed the signs and reached out to eight clients over ten years. It is not about intervening or trying to solve someone's problems. It is about having the confidence to signpost them to people with the expertise to help.
- Listen calmly and without judgement.
- Do not confront a partner or push for details.
- Offer the use of your phone to call a helpline, so the call is not on their phone or browsing history.
- Note what was said, in their words, in case it is needed later.
If you believe someone is in danger, doing nothing is not an option. Pass it to someone in authority, usually the police. The decision to act then sits with them, not you.
Where to get help (UK)
- Emergency: call 999. If you cannot speak, call 999 from a mobile and press 55 when prompted.
- National Domestic Abuse Helpline (England): 0808 2000 247, free, 24 hours a day.
- Men's Advice Line: 0808 801 0327.
- Ask for ANI: in pharmacies showing the Ask for ANI logo, say "ANI" and staff will offer a private space and a phone.
Free training: Behind the Mask
To learn more about how you can help, I created Behind the Mask, free online training made up of three short videos that take around 22 minutes. By 2023, more than 86,000 professionals had taken it, and over 2,000 had been in touch to say it helped them help someone else. Find it at behindthemask.online.
Thank you for doing something amazing today.
FAQs
How can beauty professionals spot domestic abuse?
Look for changes in mood, hidden injuries, and signs that a partner controls appointments, treatments or money.
What should I do if a client tells me they are being abused?
Listen without judgement, offer a safe way to call a specialist helpline, and call 999 if they are in immediate danger.
Should I confront the partner?
No. It could put your client at greater risk. Signpost to specialist help instead.
What is the domestic abuse helpline number?
In England, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247, free and open 24 hours a day.
